Attraction does not develop in a vacuum, rather culture and society shapes our preferences and the narrative of beauty standard has been on Whites. Social pressure and beauty industries promote that Whiter features = beauty and that has impacts on us. Television and movies with lead roles and magazines with “hottest” actors/musicians mostly being White impact our views of who might be a desirable partner and how we might want to look (blonde hair blue eyes). It influences our very feelings and preferences.

In many ways, we are the victim. People like Gina Choe, a former America’s Next Top Model contestant demonstrated the after effect of such socialization.

Notice at :32 mark she talks about how she believes in the America culture more than her parents and proceeds to say that she is not into Asian guys. But as I explained her views are not so much her fault as the larger structural forces that shape her (Structural Forces that Shape us; Self-hatred), and yet she received constant criticism.

We can clearly see here:

At the :30 point, she admits she’s having an identity crisis and struggling. This woman needs social support not people blasting her and hating on her for being “racist.”

Likewise, Tia Tequila, was hated on for her views and self admitted support of White Supremacy. She was endlessly criticized and insulted, but nobody bothered to spend the time to see why she felt that way. They lashed at her, she lashed back and it was endless fighting.

 Star All-Hollywood Party

Cruel people laughed when Tia was hospitalized for reported suicide attempt and when she self admittedly said she suffered from depression. I don’t care what they said, absent that they seriously and physically hurt you or someone you love, wishing death on someone is just plain wrong.


Most recently, model Lil May Mac received backlash and hatred for her views and preferences for White men.


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My point is not that I am trying to necessarily condone or shame any of their actions, but that there is no social support community for people like us who are deeply affected by socialization of White culture.

Could the animosity that some of these women feel towards Asian men have been averted, had there been true dialogue among parties and help for these women to overcome their self admitted struggles? They probably would have lashed out less. How many times can someone be slapped before they stop turning the other cheek?

There could have been better communication and strengthening and unity within race rather than making it an unnecessary war – making potential allies into enemies (Self-Hate Amplified – Making of Enemies out of Potential Allies?).

There is no place to provide such support system as the online Asian american community deems it a non priority and may be even against it, so we must build it ourselves. Come to, join our forum if you feel like minded or support us and let us support each other through our struggles.

Originally posted in my diary